A blogger unmasked.....

RESPECT

2009-03-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

Interesting word..... Interesting meeting today.....

Arrived at the hall today very optomistic of the day ahead (Chinese fellowship dinner yummy!) but it's interesting how one sentence from one person can change your whole experience of church because that sentence has totally ripped apart another person close to your heart.

Interesting that the meeting was all about respect and how our words can respect or dis-respect each other soooo easily.

I'm on holiday now for Easter and I'm hoping that I can spend those seconds thinking before I speak so I don't make other people how I felt today.... I'll keep you posted on how I get on. I know it's easier said than done but when you feel it personally it's time to do something about it....

It's that day again!

2009-01-30T10:45:00.000-08:00

It's here again so time to share some thoughts....!
well saturday was really good although have now bought a sat nav from ebay so I don't get lost again...!! Chelmsford is a confusing place! I found a one way street....!
as for the Y.P annual wow how cool was it to see everyone dressed up loved being at church wrapped up in my dressing gown so comfy!!

well this week has been interesting I've been able to talk to other teachers about the children I'm concerned about and been told I'm ok to worry about them & what to do about them so now I don't feel like I'm over reacting so YAY!

Anyway here's to a weekend & then we've only got 2 weeks left till half term yay time to catch up on sleep :)

Tis Friday again!!!

2009-01-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

This week has totally flown I thought I'd blog to make a point it's Friday again coz it really shouldn't be!! I've survived two weeks & 2 days of teaching yea not a world record but quite impressive considering I'm still smiling & not feeling too tired!

Anyway Y.P annual this Sunday & we're having a mini youth chorus meet up 2moz eve (only 7 of us but still...!) gonna be interesting seeing people I haven't seen in a very long time. So we may have an interesting blog by next week... (Yea I fink I'm gonna be a Friday blogger!)

Oh well here's to a weekend of marking! see you next week xx

Knowing your being paid so much better than just being a poor student!!!!

2009-01-09T09:57:00.000-08:00

This is a blog to say YAY I've finished my first week of paid work doing the thing I love! I've now been in four schools teaching children but this is the first school that I'm being paid to do it YAY!!! Even survived teaching Year 6 art this afternoon & got my year 2 class 'trouble boy' under my belt (well for now...!)

Just also wanted to say a thank you to all of you who've been thinking bout me recently & as I start this adventure I feel well loved so THANKS!!

x

Common sense has no place?!?!?!?

2008-12-08T13:04:00.000-08:00

Just a debate going on in my mind trying to work out why we can't just use our common sense instead of having to be politically correct all the time. I'm sure we're distroying the Amazon with all the extra letters that get sent out now just to 'cover our backs.' We never had to before has the world really changed so much??? (I mean we didnt do stuff 3 years ago & yet we're doing it now that's just mad)

Anyway just my thoughts

Say it again?

2008-12-04T19:42:00.000-08:00

I can't talk to people so I thought I'd blog instead! lemme explain...
During staff meeting on monday night I made a comment which came out in a very deep husky voice... Monday night we went to do a short Christmas thing at a Mencap club I whispered my way through...
Tuesday & Wednesday I had to write instructions to the children instead of telling them! Wednesday eve we planned for next week & it got very silly having to repeat everything I said 3 times! So this morning I didn't go to school the online doctor said to rest my voice so I tried! I had to go to visit my school (yes I have a job for January) to drop off all my paperwork to make it all official!
The amusing part of not having any voice is that the only way for me to say anything to people is to speak using the vocal chords I never use so yes I can sing bass now! (Claire u'll be proud of me!)
I met my class today so good impression to start lol!!!
Anyway hope u'r all ok!

8 un-interesting facts!

2008-09-27T14:06:00.001-07:00

Thanks Dawn for tagging me... means I'll get back into blogging mode!
not that I can think of 8 facts but I'll try!

1) If I see a spider in my room & daddy isn't around to get it I have to move all the furniture around hoovering everywhere in sight till I'm happy it's dead or run into another room in the house
2) I have bitten my nails since I was 3 & need to stop!
3) The first time I went on a plane was for a Straight Ahead tour in Sweden, we landed on ice and I swore I would never get ona plane again.... I have done obviously! - I said I'd walk home instead of getting back on the plane! - I didnt obviously!
4) I've never broken a bone - although I did once ask my bro to jump on my arm to see if it would break...!
5) I played the violin for half a term but stopped coz it hurt my fingers too much!
6) I loooooove pic n mix & spent many free periods at college walking down to woolworths to get my pot of treats before gorging on them wiv me buddies in the canteen playing snap!
7) When I was in year 2 we went to Stubbers I wizzed up the climbing wall but once I reached the top I froze.... 3 adults & all my group holding onto the rope still would not convince me it was safe to let go of the wall.... mr stubbers man had to climb a ladder to drag me down!
8) My first pet only survived 13 days.... my gorgeous hamster ran away never to be seen dead or alive again - very strange he really did totally vanish....!

Sorry I haven't lived a very interesting life really!

Clara & Bexs I think u should do this now! xx

I want my daddy....

2008-08-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

This is my second attempt at writing this blog coz I don't want to sound stupid....!

Ok whilst cat sitting I got 3 'presents' from the cats. The first appeared on Thursday evening as I tried to go to sleep, Paul got a phone call of me crying not knowing what to do about it he said to shut my door and deal with a dead mouse in the morning. I did as I was told, fell asleep eventually and covered the 'present' with a piece of newspaper in the morning. I then ran away to stay at my friends house for her wedding. Saturday afternoon Paul came over to get rid of the pressie for me. I then didnt want to stay at the house so after the wedding reception in west london we travelled back to Dagenham to sleep without any presents! Paul then deserted me on sunday to go to see some friends in cardiff and I had to go back to the cats. Thankfully I didnt have another present waiting for me!
Sunday I had a brill time at Sutton but had to go back to feed the cats - again no present woohoo! But.... sunday night as I started tidying up to go to bed Daisy (one of the cats!) ran through the kitchen (where I was) with a 'friend' in her mouth I go into total panic mode because my phone is in the lounge, I'm frozen in the kitchen with a mouse blocking my path! AHHHH! I threw some newspaper through a gap in the door to make Daisy drop it I then stamp on the floor to move Daisy away from the door. I leg it to the lounge, shut the door and wedge a chair against it - yes it was going to stop a mouse coming through....!!
I ring my mum who was with Zoe & dad in Worthing visiting my mum's mum & dad. Well she didn't really know what I was going on about & couldn't hear me over my childish crying. Once she understood there was a mouse 'somewhere' in the house she asked me what I wanted them to do. My answer: I want daddy!
Yes I didn't know what else to do I just knew I couldn't deal with it on my own (and let's face it Paul was miles away in cardiff hardly helpful!)

Don't we all feel like that sometimes when life just is too much or a situation is simply too much to deal with we just need our heavenly daddy to come and sort it out... He doesn't mind me coming to Him with my childish crying time and time again!

- yes dad came killed the 'present' and stayed with me for the night, Monday we went to my grandparents. At the end of the day we came back to the house to collect the rest of my stuff coz there was no way I was gonna stay another night & there in the hallway was my third 'present' sooooo glad I didn't go back on my own as was originally planned! My dad was my hero!!!

Cat/ house sitting + jelly babies + telly....!

2008-08-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so I've always been uneasy about being at home alone I'd prefer to stay up all night making lots of noise rather than going to bed in a house alone bet for the next 7nights I'm going to be in a house thats not my own with two cats that also are not mine & dont know me....! Today I found my way from this house back to Upminster to pick up clothes for the week ahead, to Rainham to say hi to Paul before finding my way back to here with only one slight hiccup when the train didn't stop at West Ham & I had to stay on till Limehouse just to come back again but there we go!
Anyway that wasn't really why I was going to blog just thought I'd let you know where I am at the mo!
So to my blog...!
Yesterday I was watching the highlights of the Olympics and the conversation came up about how competitions are scored. I asked if the girls preferred watching sports that had a clear winner by whoever ran through the finishing line first or threw the furthest etc. Or the opinionated competitions like gymnastics where its very easy to disagree with the points awarded. (-They agreed with me that I'd prefer to see a clear winner to be fair) But it then got me thinking how God "marks" us. Does He compare us to other people in the same 'race' or does He just wait till we get to the end and say nope you missed the line by 3 random acts of kindness (for example!)
I know I ponder on 'the end' too much and no one has the answers (well except the big guy upstairs...!) but thought I'd say my wondering thoughts of today!

It's been a while!

2008-08-10T10:26:00.001-07:00

Ok I know I've disappeared from the blogging scene but I've now got something to say so time to blog again!

Well we were at the summer school final festival thing last night and wow we have some amazing people within our church dont we! I wish I'd filmed the drama coz my words can't sum that up at all. It was just one of those things you have to experience and then spend time thinking about what you'd seen! Funnily enough my last blog was about wearing masks at church and how I wanted to throw mine away and here the youth were telling me I wasn't alone (which I know many people have told me recently but it really hit home through their little scenes) and wow the passion they acted with just felt like a slap round the face it's totally real just wow! words fail me!

I could blog about todays meeting as well (thanks Ann) but I can't work out how to express my thoughts yet so watch this space for my thoughts!

Stained Glass Masquerade

2008-05-15T06:52:00.000-07:00

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone tht falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everyone seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So wih a painted grin, I play teh part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weaknesses
And smiles to hide our pain
But if he invitation's open
To every heart the has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone eho's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay.

I cant get this song out my head so I'm doing a 'get it down on the screen instead of just thinking'
It's weird how me & Kirsty were both thinking of different songs this week but by the same band.... hummm dunno if that was for a reason..... we'll see.

There's a lot of questions in this song!

times past.....

2008-05-12T02:03:00.000-07:00

whilst I was looking for the unmasked video I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfaGGG1HGBg sent me back a few years!

I'm a "My mask is off blogger"

2008-05-12T01:27:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about this issue of audience that Liz bought up from my last blog & I've realised that I blog thinking about who's reading this because if I didn't want people to read it I'd write my thoughts in a diary.... I was talking to a very good friend yesterday at church about how we wear masks at church - you know what I mean it's the "everything's fine and dandy with me & my family thanks" when two seconds earlier u've just been grounded for a month for fighting & breaking your little sister's favourite toy.... or the "yes life's great thanks really getting somewhere" which translates at: my life is on the rocks & I'm praying God will get me out and somewhere better
I blog to tell people how I really feel, you ask me my opinion on something I'm likely to give you a politically correct answer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrIKFLJP8Jc
watch this. As I left church yesterday my mate told me how she feels & I was sooooo excited to know she was feeling exactly the same as me yet we had both just sat in church & chatted afterwards wearing our masks of "yep I'm totally ok with God & everything". How sad if we can't show our true feelings and emotions to our friends at church, who can we tell? we've got a friend suffering terribly with depression & in our group of three we coulod all list 2 or 3 other people we knew who had spent times in darkness yet we only knew after they'd got through it our we too proud as Christians to accept we need help or is it a human fault?? I dunno but I hope one day I can turn up to church leaving my mask at home maybe we all will....

At the moment I can't be unmasked at church but I can sit 2hrs away from home & be my true self so here I am the unmasked blogger

Y does Roots make me so confuzzled??

2008-05-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

Warning to anyone bored enough to read this:

Don't read to much into this I'm just putting down how I'm feeling & it really wont make sense to some of you & I'm not making any rush decisions I'm just trying to clarify my thoughts & feelings.

so end of the weekend, time to think through everything that was said.....!
I'm kinda mixed in how I feel at the moment to be honest. I want to rip up my uniform & live my life as a Chrisian not a Salvationist, I want to leave the church behind & take a walk in my non-christian friends shoes to see what the real world is like. We live in our bubble of 'everything is fine coz God's in control' but that's not real life, I don't know what it's like to feel like you're world is ending fully because I've been "brain-washed" to believe God's made me go through this horrible situation for a reason. How can I know how my friends feel if I've never been any where near their darker moments.... How can I go up2 someone in the street and say hey watever is going wrong in your life God will fix when I've never experienced God fixing stuff coz I've never been totally broken????
I want my life to be in tatters without feeling that God is in control & I don't want people to tell me everything will be fine I want to feel the pain my friends go through. I want God to leave me & to really experience today's world.
Is that a bad thing??? All weekend we've been talking about going public with our faith but right now I don't feel I'm full of faith I feel like I'm full of being taught how to be a Christian within our church. I haven't done the lessons on how to tell my friends about God, I haven't been taught how to know what to say to someone when they are going through their own hell whilst I stand there thinking well if u believed in God everything would be hunky doory...!

I know this won't make sense to some of you but I wear my uniform because I want to sing in the songsters not because I feel like I should wear it (I don't fully understand why we wear it either...!) I want to leave the army because I am struggling to see how we are still doing what William Booth wanted us to do but I can't pluck up the courage to leave my church - I'm scared of what I'll find in other churches... I just don't know where I stand right now. & to be honest I don't care what people read into this or think what I'm saying about my life I just don't know how I'm feeling or what to do about my confusion we'll have to wait and see (yep there's the classic "let's see what God has in store for me.....") I don't want to wait and see what God has in store for me I want to be in control of my own life, my decisions & not feel guilty about the choices I make.

- yes I can say I'm a Christian, I believe in God, I believe He sent His only son to die for us & take away our sins. BUT I don't feel I'm living the Christian life I'm not passionate about anything I feel like I'm in a Christian coma (that only makes sense to me & I dont know how to explain it)

I've now been debating whether or not to post this for like 10mins because I know how some people will interpret my mumblings & I don't want you to do that I just want to get my opinion off my chest..... If i dont post this I'll be annoyed at myself & wont be able to comment on Roots coz this is how it's left me feeling.... to post or not to post that is the question....
(I've just realised that if I do post this u'r going to think im weirder than normal coz of my random waffle-y debate with myself.....)

Sadly I'm trying to make this decision without asking God what I should do to make a point but I'm scared of what u'll think of me when you read this I wonder if other people think what I'm thinking..... right I'm gonna post this but just remember I dont no what I'm feeling & thinking reakky it's just a mad confusion of thoughts......

Does God hear our prayers??.... YEP!

2008-04-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Hiya everybody!

Today in FOJ we were talking about how God answers pray when we ask Him, well, I've had 3 weeks to realise how true that is for me. I'll explain!

I was having a really tricky placement this year, my teacher didnt want me to do wat I needed to be doing to pass & I was waking up hoping for something bad to happen so I didnt have to go to school but anyway in my last week a lecturer came to see me & I explained everything so I was allowed to leave my school. Well pros: I didnt have to go back to the school, cons: I hadn't completed my placement so wouldnt be able to graduate this year. My immediate thoughts: despair, anger and a lot of tears. But now... well!!
I've been told I'll be given a placement school back in Havering so I wont be broke paying stupid amount of money for rent (added stress!!!) and as long as I do good (!) I'm already in a good position to go into a school in January.
So I'm feeling very positive about that now. As for the rest of my life well I've been really struggling to hear God's voice in terms of what to do in terms of whether to stay at Sutton to keep working with Sparklers or come back to Romford to FOJ and you all... well with the recent events God's finally clear!
In other news Paul is finishing uni next June & I was like grrr I'm gonna be working for a whole year before I can spend any real time with him but now it's only half a year woohoo!! see God really does have a bigger plan & I just needed to pray for Him to tell me what to do & wow He spoke & told me EXACTLY what I'm gonna do! see you all a lot more often woohoo! (well once ive got through my essays & more essays lol!)

no title really......

2008-03-08T00:57:00.000-08:00

Hello all!

Just wanted to share this with you I don't know who wrote it but we were given it in small group the other week & think it's worth everyone reading & take what you do from it....!
"stop fighting that battle, I've already done that for you. Be still. Open your eyes. My love for you has cast out all fear. Look at what I've done. Stop wringing your hands in worry. I love you. I want you to expereience the peace I've given you."

we've got Ofsted monday & tuesday next week so I've bin shipped out to the nursery which is lovely (with all 50 + on the register....!) Obviously it doesn't affect me what the school get or what they think & I don't have to do anything (except learn lots of names...!) but the school has bin mad thursday & friday this week since we got the news everyone is just looking different no one is just chatting as they pass each other in the corridor or even sitting in the staff room coz suddenly we've got all these jobs to be doing... just got me thinking if God decided today was the day he was gonna come back & gave us 2 days notice what would we do tidy up, forgive someone, cry, laugh, panic.... fortunatly He wont tell us coz that'd be weird but then when we were Ofsted-ed at summer camp a woman just turned up in the morning without any warning I've never seen myself tidy an art room any quicker or settle children down to get on with 'being creative ' as speedily. Would we have time to do the things we wanted to do if God decided right now it's time to go.... Would I regret leaving people behind without telling them once more how much they mean to me do they know how much I need and value their friendship.... There's a song by Celebr8 called 'If today was the last day' It says:

If today was the last of all days would it change how you feel inside?
Would you rise for a moment above all your fears?
Become one with the moon and the stars?
Would you like what you see looking down?
Did you give everything that you could?
Have you done all the things that you've wanted to do?
Is there still so much more that you want?

Follow your dreams to the end of the rainbow
Way beyond one pot of gold
Open you eyes to the colours that's around you
Find the true beauty life holds

Would you live for the moment like when you were young?
And time didn't travel so fast
Being free in the present, enjoying the now
Not tied to the future or a past

You've probably said all you wanted to say
But doesn't it strike you as strange
That we'd only begin to start living our lives
If today was the last of all days.

Then again to go back to the beginning I need to not worry about what I don't know & just get on with life as it is.....

wasn't gonna waffle on then was just gonna write up the quote the madness that is my mind when I open a new post page!
Hope you're all having good weeks & are well (and yes I do value you all & hope you know how much you mean to me....) xxx

I'm still here just not so much in the waffling obvious way!.....!

2008-02-19T12:45:00.000-08:00

Hiya everyone!

Thought I'd write a post today coz I'm prob gonna disappear for the next 6 weeks till I finish my manic final placement I've got 5 weeks left but I'm now pretending to be a real teacher ( I do feel like I'm an actor!) (that should be actress really shouldn't it....!)
Anyway!
I had my interview today with two head teachers in Havering which was really bizarre I've never been so conscious of how not to look scared! but they were really positive so hopefully that went ok... Thank you for all your prayers I really do appreciate all your support xxx

In other news I'm doing my final test tomorrow (out of 3) that you have to pass to be given your qualified teacher status it's maths which aint my strongest subject hence leaving it till now...! but I'm gonna go for it & accept that I can always resit it esp. now that the bus at the end of my road goes to Victoria so it only costs my 90p! (well ok £1.80 if I wanna come home again!)
The rest of my 'relaxing' half term will be spent planning lots of lessons wow the fun....!

I don't really have anything of interest to say but just wanted to say hi & explain why I've disappeared from the blogging world over the next couple of weeks! (I do always find time to read what you're all upto so keep blogging PLEASE!!!!)

Anyway, I'm gonna go & make a cuppa tea before I grab an early night (interviews & an afternoon playing with younger cousins is really tiring!)

Hope you're all having good half terms, 1st week back at school etc., (sarah, I aint got a clue wat you're upto at the mo but that don't mean I'm not thinking & praying for you!)

See you all soon.....!

quick blog whilst I overcome my maths planning brain wave blockage!

2008-02-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Really quick gonna write this & prob come back to it at some later date but I wanted to blog last sunday but all week have been majorly busy & not had chance to release it from my head so very quickly here is my thought! (yes me sticking with the same thought for over a week is weird hence needing to write it down to stop thinking about it!)

ok i was talking with some very special people at Sutton about adherants & soldiership & how as soldiers we live our lives by what it says on a piece of paper. one person said how they'd love to be an adherant just to experience 'life' not stupidly like going out getting drunk, gambling away all her wages but just knowing that it she went out she could experience what alcohol tastes like...
It got me thinking that we are rather stuck up about certain things our commitment says & we are not as bothered about the others. For example if I turned up next Sunday with a massive hangover (or an injury from a 'drunken mishap') people would start talking but if I turned up knowing full well I hadn't read my Bible or prayed all week would people make comments?? Is it different because people don't know whether we are praying/ reading our Bibles daily or becausewe are more shocked at a soldier (gasp!) living a life that any other Christian outside the Sally Army leads????
just a thought....

(btw don't read too much into this it was just a discussion we were having!) - just realised how some people might interpret it lol!!

Back at uni....

2008-01-06T11:40:00.000-08:00

Well I'm back in Roehampton again this time I didnt have quite as long off as previously Mr Gorilla will be pleased to know!
I came back yesterday (Saturday) so I could go to Sutton today I'm now more involoved with Sparklers so although I wasn't on the rota I went out with the children to see if Debbie needed me to stay which I did!
Today is Epiphany (the day Christians remember the wise men visiting Jesus) so we were looking at the star they followed and the word 'Hope' I've never really thought about the star as a major elelment in the Christmas story it just kinda appears, does it's job and disappears but today it was at the centre point of the story as a symbol of hope. The wise men believed the star was important enough to trek across desert and whateva to get to the chosen birth place of Jesus. What went through their minds....

what if we lose the star & end up in the middle of nowhere.... what if we're wrong this is just another shooting star.... what do we say to the King when we meet him?.... who are we meant to meet at the end?.... how do we know we have arrived & the star isn't just telling us to rest....

I dunno what they thought but they kept going because they believed it was the right thing to do, they hoped to meet and worship the new king. It's like those times when people say step out of your comfort box & just trust God to guide you. We often say how do I know this is God not just me wanting something to happen so say it's God when really it could just be me or that can't be God that's just my mind being random.... but the wise men didnt doubt they trusted and went (yes with a bit of help from their brains & star map stuff) surely our maps & brains come in the form of other people telling us to go for it (I mean people who have asked God for confamation not just our younger siblings saying hey if God is telling you to run off to Africa then yea go coz then I can get your room.....)
so I guess what I'm saying is if a group of men trust a shinning light to lead them to the saviour of the world surely I should trust God to guide me..... easier said than done though hey!

a stretch limo!

2007-12-19T01:54:00.000-08:00

Ok not a great photo but this is James May's creation (as in guy of Top Gear). They all had to create a limo. James cut two cars in half and then stuck them back together. Unfortunatly there was a problem with the steering & so for tight turns the passenger would have to jump into the other driving seat to anti-steer. (if that makes any sense at all!) so anyway basically both cars worked they were just glued together to make it a 'limo' what would happen if there were two drivers & they couldnt decide which way to go would the car cut itself in half?

2 people will see my thinking in this but to everyone else enjoy the randomness of top gear!

Are you sitting comfortably? good then MOVE

2007-12-10T04:56:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that when you sit in the same place on a sofa the cushion never gets back to it's originally flufed-ness?
Have you noticed that unless we keep searching for what God is trying to tell us we're just bobbing along in life waiting to die?
Have you noticed that chocolate tastes so much better when you've given it up for lent?
Have you noticed that your friends have always got news to fill you in on?
Have you noticed how God also wants to tell us stuff constantly?
Have you noticed that a cuppa tea is really good at filling up a gap in ur belly when you realise it really is too early to cook dinner but you're a bit peckish?
Have you noticed that people see church as a building?
Have you noticed that I've written the same 4 words 8 times so far?
Have you noticed when we are comfortable we are also bored?
Have you noticed that if you didnt have anything to do in a day you'd drive yourself mad of nothingness?

Christianity isn't supposed to be a comfortable way of life (Jesus didnt exactly have it easy did He & we're supposed to be trying to live like Him so why do we think it should be comfortable?)

If you aren't being challenged & feeling uncomfortable then move till you are.

(for once I dont care what people reading this make of it just wanted to get it off my chest. Take from it what u will)

Getting Tim Hughes to Christmas Number 1

2007-11-27T03:35:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!

There's a thingy on Facebook at the mo about getting Tim Hughes to number 1 for christmas & apparently that means we need to get loads of people to download his song between the 12th & 18th December (I don't understand how it works but there we go!) the guys that have thought up this weird idea have chosen Happy Day on the Holding Nothing Back album.
If you wanna see this crazy mission completed then please do!

The guys have said they're not trying to annoy non-Christians but just show that Christian music isn't all 'shine Jesus shine' (I was coming home the other day with a guy who actually said do we still just sing that & the burning oil song lol!)

http://roehampton.facebook.com/event.php?eid=6089140689&ref=nf dunno if this link will work but that's where the info is!

Hope you're all well?? be back in sunny Romford soon just gotta get thru these three assignments first!......

(My MSN name 2day is 'thou shalt work, thou shall NOT go on facebook' it lasted 2 hours!!!) HELP IM ADDICTED!!! oh well I'll stop waffling and get back to geography oh the joys!!!

Groovy lights....! Jude's moment of waffleage....! not very interesting I'm afraid!

2007-11-18T13:35:00.000-08:00

Hello all,
how are you this dull wet and grey Sunday??! Yea I got cold today not too impressed but Sutton is finally looking swish! David (as in the big bro) sorted out the lights this week and the screen + projector are all working we even have a screen thingy on the back wall so people at the front can see & people in the back (and for short people like me wen ur uncle's head is in the way of the first 2 words...!)

I've just had a really bizarre Sunday I was doing Sparklers & was expecting to go out during the offering as usual but no after like the 2nd song (Amazing my fave song Geraldine Latty's Dance of our God!) we went out I aint got the slightest clue wat the meeting was about but got stuck into hand and finger printing upstairs in our new room wooohooo!
After a lot of tidying up a few of us treked 2 Nandos (so stupid putting Nando's @ da top of the high street wen we're at the bottom I'm gonna make a petition to amke them move...!) after lunch we wandered back to the hall (a. cause it was raining & cold & the hall now has heating!! and b. Ben had to show his mum round the new building) anyway we had like 2 hours till alpha so in true Sutton style the techy stuff is turned on & a jam session errupts with light show in tow!
...slight headache from the volume but overall was HILARIOUS! (is that how u spell that?!)
People started turning up for Alpha so we were brought back into the real world & realised we should face the weather & get bk to uni, since being bk I've warmed up with 2 cups of tea a Friends sit-a-long & half of Sister Act before realising I should not fall asleep & so should write this 2 make my eyes focus!
I know this is a bit of a weird blog coz it's just me talking rubbish but basically I needed to occupy myself coz I'm majorly BORED!

Question of the day
:does anyone know of a website to help you set up a website???

Messages of the day
: church aint a building church is people - see I do listen to things people say! (not that it was Richard but hey don't always get messages from the people 'in charge' just people switched in to the big guy upstairs!)
:a hat doesn't need to be called a head hat coz it's a recognised item of clothing but if we made hats for ears (...no not ear muffs) we'd have to call them ear hats to identify them... RANDOM!

Anyway I fink I mite have an early nite tonight (I'm soooo not a sterotypical student!)

the temptations... but isn't God great

2007-11-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVJqRLU3J0I&eurl=http://widget-e5.slide.com/widgets/sf.swf

just wanted to share this for those of you that haven't recieved it on facebook.
enjoy???

Your main event...

2007-10-09T03:37:00.001-07:00

A super duper person asked me 2day how my main event was? I didn't come home at the weekend to come along but I've been getting mixed messages about the whole event & I've realised how vast and diverse we are as a group of people and I'm not sure we can ever get stuff right... What I mean (even tho I may not be making any sense watsoever!) is that the parents/ adults seen to have had a great time and felt all powered up and stuff but the younger groups seem to not have enjoyed it as much. Is this because some groups refuse to listen to God or because people are telling us stuff that doesn't fire us up. Like when we're at roots and the speakers are like we need your money to help this, this and this as kids we really do want to help but we can't coz the money we have in our pockets is for our dinner later whereas adults have a magic piece of plastic so you can instantly get involved wivout 1st having 2 run off & ask lovely ma and pa if you can have sum extra money....
(this is prob all a bit of a mix of thoughts so I do apologise!)
When I was younger I wrote at a youth event of sum sorts that if we were going to have flats on top of our church we should buy one as a church and give it 2 sum1 trying to turn their life around. In my head this was all very feesible and I couldn't see why it wouldnt work I just didnt know how on earth I would go about convincing the grown ups to listen to me... do our kids get the opportunity to be really honest with us about their ideas?? This africa trip next yr is an amazing opportunity for the youth and stuff but did we ask them if they'd prefer to do something in England??? just a thought... maybe we as adults need to not run away with what we think is really exciting without pausing to think about how the younger generation can get involved (and I mean really involved)
At Roots this year I know a bunch of people from Romford got all excited bout stuff that's gonna b happening over the next couple of years and stuff but personally I don't feel it and that worries me we should be as one fighting against the evil stuff but if we can't tell people what we're all excited about and to get people on board then how can we be one???

(sorry 4 my mixed up thoughts...!) (and sorry if I make no sense just ignore this post really!)

Not sure what to call this 1.....!

2007-10-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

Hi!
I've just got in from C.U and we've been talking about 'How to Pray' and 'Why we should pray.' The guy speaking used the A.C.T.S set way to pray which is ok I guess some people do use a set step-by-step prayer thing but I just can't do that! I've noticed as well that whenever I pray in groups I pray with my eyes open and talk with my hands like I'm just tlkin 2 the people I'm praying with... Is that wrong... should I talk differently when I talk to God to when I talk to my friends...?
I know prayer is a very personal thing and everyone prays differently and stuff so what works for one person might not work for someone else but I was very aware today that I don't pray like anyone else in our group of 6 (maybe in a bigger group someone would pray as I do... I dont know!)

Anyway don't know why I just blabbered on really coz what I was gonna waffle about was how irritating it is to be treated like your stupid when you're really not.... Just gonna get this off my chest coz it really annoyed my whole class (of 15...!)
we were in ICT (yes 4 hrs.... AHHH!) anyway our task over the week was to produce a powerpoint slide on a ICT term. Fair enough we all managed this without any trouble but then our tutor went on for like another 15mins talking about the importance of using contrasting colours between your text and background. This wouldn't of been so bad if any of us had used colours that made it hard to read the text but NON OF US HAD! we all know full well you need to be able to read the text so WHY waffle for 15mins telling us something we obviously ALL know!!!! Ah! (sorry to moan it's just irritating!) (and besides I need to beat Glyn now that I'm moving up Kirst's list!!)

How do people do this???

2007-09-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in my room in an empty house & can't stop playing this song by Tim Hughes. I just can't work out how people can write these words and believe it totally and all the time and do they think this all the time?? "When the tears fall, I will praise you. Through the suffering still I will sing" It's like Blessed be Your Name how did Matt Redman write that song when he was going through so much rubbish?? Am I the only person that gets mad at God when things go wrong or is it just people that know how to write songs who are always happy and praising??? Maybe if I could write songs I'd never feel angry or sad.....

When the Tears Fall

I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, i have known pain
but theres one thing, that i'll cling to
you are faithful, Jesus your true

when hope is lost, i'll call you saviour
when pain surrounds, i'll call you healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

in the lone hour, of my sorrow
through the darkest night of my soul
you surround me, and sustain me
my defender, forever more

when hope is lost, i'll call you saviour
when pain surrounds, i'll call you healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

I will praise you, i will praise you
when the tears fall, still i will sing to you
i will praise you, Jesus praise you
Through the suffereing still i will sing

when hope is lost, i'll call you saviour
when pain surrounds, i'll call you healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, i have known pain
but theres one thing, that i'll cling to
you are faithful, Jesus your true

when hope is lost, i'll call you saviour
when pain surrounds, i'll call you healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

I will praise you, i will praise you
when the tears fall, still i will sing to you
i will praise you, Jesus praise you
Through the suffereing still i will sing X2

when hope is lost, i'll call you saviour
when pain surrounds, i'll call you healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

Sorry to make no sense to those of you that don't feel the same way but I just don't get it!

She survives a 2wentys holiday!

2007-09-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

Hiya everbody!

Well I survived my week in Greece with mad drivers, new toilet rules, lack of water, free alcohol flowing and a mini earthquake!
Big woop-woop 2 my sarah coz my mates loved playing 5's and "what a clap" (!)

Anyway I've learnt a few things this last week about the way countries work which are dependent on tourism to put food on their tables...
as we were a large group we were hard to miss and all the restaurants and clubs wanted us to spend our euros with them. Here's one conversation word for word:

Owner of restaurant: You come for breakfast, lunch?
Moi: no they want pancakes
Owner: We don't do pancakes
Moi: no they really want pancakes
Owner: we do other treats for you
Moi: no they only want pancakes
Owner: oh I forgot we do do pancakes
25mis later we were given 'pancakes'

we weren't too impressed and went back 3days later to give the chef a cooking lesson.
Funny what people do to get our money...!

I'm sowiee

2007-09-08T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hello blogging world I do apologise for my absence over the last ...... however long!

I don't really have any deep thought but just thought I'd say hi & that give me a week in the sun and I'll be back to the student world of 'work-avoidance' and my blog will be more interesting!

Anyway, have a good week I'll fill you in on the world of 2wenty's holiday-ing when I get back.... slightly scary but oh well....!

See you all soon (yes Kirsty and Sarah I have just written this random note so that I can hault your distress of seeing the same title when you click on me....!)

xxx

you can't swim with your feet on the bottom...

2007-06-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

"When I was learning to swim, the swimming instructor

used to shout, "For goodness' sake take your feet off

the bottom!' Sometimes it's like that in our Christian life...

we're scared of getting out of our depth, but it's impossible

to learn to swim that way. Our feelings let us down, telling

us that this is not us - we're never going to be good swimmers,

never going to do much for God. but God... takes the ordinary and

makes it extrodinary, and that is exactly what happens to us when we

give our lives into his hands..."

(Clare Blake: Diary of an [extra] ordinary woman)

I'm sure you all know where I'm headed with this I'm rather obvious really! I went into Upminster Christian bookshop on Wednesday not because I wanted anything but coz I was walking past and decided to stop (or God nudged me.....) this book caught my eye just from the quote above I love that anaolgy. We can't learn to swim with our feet walking along the bottom of the pool. We can't learn to drive without lessons and reading books to help us we can't pass our test without practice. We're humans we're not perfect we can try and fail, try again then fail as long as we keep trying and don't give up we will learn to be what God wants us to be. Funnily enough God knows what He's doing... He created us... He can see more than we can... we just need to get on with trusting His plans and yes tht means lifting up your feet even if it means you feel like your drowning for a bit. If we're doing what He wants we wont fail....

A quick note!

2007-06-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

"If you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere, you better wake up & pay attention"

I is sitting watching Sister Act 2 & just wanted to write the above. Isn't it true that we can do whatever we want as long as we have the effort to get up and get on with it...

YAY

2007-06-12T02:08:00.000-07:00

YAY! I had to blog just to say YAY!
My housemate txt me on Friday night when I was coming home to say she couldn't afford to live in our house next yr (bear in mind that uni has finished everyone has moved out of halls & there's no one around to ask 'would you like to live in our house next yr?!) Anyway, a while ago when we were advertising our free rooms for next yr my mate Piglet said she had a mate who needed somewhere but unfortunatly by then the rooms had bin taken. Sooooo I txt Piglet (should point out now that's not her real name!) and ask if her mate stills needs a room, she said she'll pass my name onto Liz & gave me her email address. Sooooo I get home run up a quick email asking if she still needs a roof over her head, no reply, Saturday - no reply, Sunday - no reply meanwhile Rena is getting stressed about having no money & needing someone to move in. Sooooo on Monday I sent another email (u know how all emails go into your junk mail if u dont have the persons contact details) incase she hadn't got the first one.
Sooooo Monday afternoon I get two emails about half an hr apart.
1st one: no I've got a house sorted with the postgrad's hope you find someone though
2nd one: our house isn't set in stone can I have more details please????

Sooooo I send back details about the house, where we are & rent stuff

Email reply: can I live in ur house please?!

So in less than a week we've got a 4th hosemate all sorted & she's a Christian so I don't even have to explain to the newbie my random music etc!
Isn't God great always sorts everything out even when it starts off being a big mess Amazing!

I'll take a break! or will I??!

2007-06-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

phreewww I've finished my 2nd yr for the time being. I'll just have to wait for my results to do the dreaded resubmissions but there we go I always do better the 2nd time round so it's a good job I can resubmit lol!
Anyway that's not really why I started this new post.

You may or may not recall a while ago I wrote a post about wanting a pause button on my remote control of life. well over the coming week I'm going to be looking for times to just pause & be free to sit and be still. (I know that may seem like a chance to be lazy but honestly that's not my plan!)

Just incase some of you don't know fun camp (aka Kids Alive Outside) will be in full flow by this time next week. Please be thinking of Liz and all the other 'staff' like people but above all remember all the fantasitastic kids that are gonna be coming along!

Watch this space we'll see if I've managed to pause in my busy life!

(hello Rebecca I hope u've moved in the last couple of hrs....?!)

a breather!

2007-06-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord,

so far today I am doing well

I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card.

But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think that I will really need Your help then!

What you are is God's gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.

- I've just stolen these two 'things' from our Christian Union Facebook page thought they'd make a different to my grrr-ness recent posts!

Jude's analogy of the week...

2007-06-01T15:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry Becca if I miss quote you here but tonight you said something like "how come builders stand around just looking at the building drinking tea talking about what needs to be done instead of doing it?" (or something along those lines!) well i didn't think you'd want me to start a rant tonight so I've stored it up for this blog so tighten your seat belts I may go into a mad waffle trying to get down all I want to say!

How many times do we stand around and say "if i was prime minister I would do...." I know I do loads but I do realise I'm never gonna rule the country so I also find myself saying "we need to do.... at church" my biggest ... is PRAY as in "we need to pray together at church" it doesn't matter how long I sit and chat to people about how we need to do a, b and c to make our church the best it can be it's not gonna make a blind bit of difference until we get out of our comfortable boxes & just grab change by the horns and go with it.
We as a corps are about to go through an amazing (albeit scary and uncertain) time when we're building-less (we'll not in 1 we can call ours) we need to support each other yes in friendship as we do but absolutely lift up our church (as a people not as a building) in prayer. I know I find it so much easier to pray alongside other Christians and yet when do we get the chance to just sit and pray? why do we not have morning prayer meetings anymore? I know the salvation army is changing with society and culture etc but since when should we stop praying???? Is it just me or does that make no sense what so ever we are living in completely shaken times and yet we dont pray together our strongest weapon against the devil is the fact that God will listen to us when we bother to talk to Him! I'm not suggesting you guys reading this don't pray and we cant pray alone but we all know how amazing it was at Roots when we all came together and felt the power of God. We can get that every week just by coming together in our united grrrrr-ness of wanting God in our lives, community and church.
We don't know exactly what God wants to do in Romford but we know it's something BIG surely we need to be BIG in asking God what we need to do. Sunday's are always a busy day for us but we need to take time out and just talk to the big guy who is the ONLY person who knows what we're gonna go through in the next yr/18mnths, yes God, He is the ONLY person with the answers so let's talk to Him!

I do apologise if this blog only makes sense to one person who feels the same as me but I can't just stand back and say "we should so be praying together no" anymore we need to DO something to see the 'building work' get completed. (sorry my analogy wording isn't my strong point but hopefully you get the idea?!)

I'll shush for now but God is knocking at my head/ heart & i wont just stand back and churn thoughts over to myself! (sorry that means more grrrrr-ness coming your way my fellow bloggers!)

Simple... COMMUNICATE!!!

2007-05-31T09:38:00.000-07:00

I know I know long time no see etc.! well i've got 600 words left to write until all my essays are finished so I'm on a break and using my time productively to talk to you all!

Ok I know I've got no right to judge and God has that privalage but something happened today & I can't believe how maliscious/annoying some people can be! I wont go into detail coz it would go on for hours but basically my housemate was summoned to a meeting today about what we thought was her failure to complete essays on time because of illness & bereavement & all othe rubbish that goes on in her life... but no I've neva been sooooo shocked we sit in the meeting & everyone's really serious (3 members of staff and rena & moi) her tutor tells her that she's had a very serious alegation made against her (which we thought was plagerism coz a 'friend' of hers had been asked how much help she had given Rena with her essays) but NO this 'friend' has complained of harrassment which was a matter the police could be involved with....! Hello this girl had called Rena the night before to stress her out about this meeting making us think she'd b kicked out of uni & we would have 2 find sum1 else to live in our house nxt yr....Rena harrasing her??! What?! anyway after a hr of talking it was decided that Rena would promise to not talk to the 'friend' again and we go for a coffee & chat with the welfare officer. We explain how we thought it was a plagerism offence the welfare officer couldn't of looked more surprised. All this stress because the girl neva told Rena to stop txting, ringing or generally asking for help. we've had tears and screaming matches for the last 6 weeks over this tutor when all the time we were just being kept in the dark about what the real complaint was.... duh just talk and be honest with each other! either this girl is totally mentally ill & wanted to cause total distress to my buddy or she just forgot how to write "I don't want to help u anymore leave me alone".... I've neva been so annoyed at lack of communication!

Please people reading this if I annoy you and you want me to shut up just tell me! I won't be offended! honest I wont I'd hate to go through anything like today again! on the plus side the choice of being kicked out of uni & losing a supposed 'friend' I know what I'd chose!

Anyway I'll see you soon & after these essays r finished I'll be back sharing more waffle more regularly!

You tagged moi!

2007-05-30T14:51:00.000-07:00

My Tag - 'Sadler argues that some of these skills need to be shared with students, because: (i wont bore you with the depressingly long quote that follows because...!)'

Caroline Gipps, Bet McCallum and Elanore Hargreaves, 'What makes a good primary school teacher?'

Stupid essays I've got a pile of 17 books next to me! I've neva had so many books on my desk EVA!

Here's is what this is about - the rules:

Grab the book closest to you

Turn to page 161
Print the 5th complete sentence on your blog

Tag 5 others.

The people I tag are Kat, My brother in law, My ickle sis, mummy and miss Borrett!

I've FINISHED PLACEMENT!

2007-05-20T07:17:00.001-07:00

(I'm not trying to be greedy I just needed to get rid of my morning before thinking about what I really wanted to say on here, so here is my REAL blog of the day!!)

Yes, i've finished my placement for the year phew! you know when you hold your breath going through the dartford tunnel and the massive relief it is to breath at the other end while imagine that but after going through the tunnel 5 times before being able to breath and that's pretty much how I felt on Friday! don't get me wrong I was sad to say bye to the children but my oh my do I need to sleep!

I'll explain my weekend and that will explain why I'm typing this blog sooooo slowly with imaginary matchsticks holding open my eyes!

Friday
6:30 - alarm goes off for the last day of block woohoo!
8:00 - arrive at nursery
9:30 - chuck children on the coach and set off to the farm
2:30 - chuck children off the coach back at nursery
3:30 - last child picked up from nursery (cheeky mother!)
4:00 - leave nursery
5:30 - arrive back at home
7:30 - leave the house to go to a pub with my housemates (I was assured we would be home about 10) (my mate does Burlseque dancing so we went to see her 'perform' - most bizzare experience to date!)
12:00 - arrive back home and collapse into bed

Saturday
8:30 - my brain decides it's had enough sleep and would like to get up now, my body disagrees but my brain over rules and I get up
11:30 - my housemate cooks us a fry up
12:00 - go to Asda to get fruit for the fruit salad (see earlier blog!)
1:00 - arrive back home
5:30 - start getting ready to go out for the evening
6:45 - leave the house glamed up (carrying heels ready for later)
8:00 - heels on, hobble into a club in Soho to watch a cabaret Burlseque show (it's my mates birthday pressie we just had to go & keep her company and buy her stupidly expensive cocktails - I dont get why people spend so much on a drink that helps to distroy their memory of "an amazing night")
1:00 - back home, crash into bed

Sunday
8:15 - alarm goes off
9:45 - arrive in Sutton (see earlier blog)
1:00 - leave Sutton
2:00 - arrive home and make a cuppa tea!
2:30 - waste time chilling out online!

I'm tired!
funniest thing: the guy in charge of the club on Saturday finding a man for a woman on her hen night only to be told she's a lesbian on her hen nite hehehehe! Quote: Hen night girls: "she licks the other side of the stamp" compare: "I bet her post never arrives then"
scariest thing: teacher calling register on coach "Ellie?" .......(no response) "Is Ellie on the coach?"..... (nursery nurses look)..... "Ellie?" ....... (finally Ellie found sitting next to her friend as had been the whole time!)

Once again I'd quite like to press the stop button but this time during the night so I can have an extra long sleep! Please someone create my brillant remote control!

STOP

2007-05-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I know it's been a while since my last blog but I've been cowering under a pile of paper for the last 2 weeks! (how cool is the fingy telling me my blog is saved automatically! im well impressed!) anyway!

I've now got 2 weeks left of uni in which time I need to write 14 essays (of varying length!) a portfolio thingy and revise for an exam....! if anyone is bored & would like to write an essay plz give me a bell lol!

I went to Sutton Army this morning was well bizzarre, basically they are having building work done at the moment (very excitin times for them all!) and so some of the rooms are out of action hence having Sparklers (primary) and KOAS (sunday skool) together.
Every now and again im on the rota to do Sparklers and today was my day so I arrive nice and early with my fruit (we made a fruit salad to share with the adults!) but whilst finding a knife and chopping board I go into the Y.P room and find the YPSM's oldest in tears with blood dripping down his face...
me: oh dear let's sort that out
him: wahhhhh wahhhhhh it hurts
me: yep let's go out here & clean you up
him: wahhhhhh wahhhhh it hurts
me: DEBBIE we've got a slight problem
him: wahhhhh wahhhhh it hurts
wat a way to start a Sunday: the "do we, don't we go to hospital" debate begins then the phone call to the lovely nurse to bring some "sticking heads back together" stuff with her when she comes to church meanwhile we try and set up the room ready for the kids without knowing wat the YPSM wants out or where while inside the main hall the technical stuff itsn't working and the officers are debating wat to cut out of the meeting to fit in the most hilarious video eva....

(all this really happened in the space of 20mins)

Don't you wish you could have a pause button on life?

My Roots let off steam moment!

2007-05-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

I know everyone comes back on a high after things like roots so just thought I'd join in the chit chat that follows bt as I never get 2 c most of you who read this I'll write a waffling blog to bore you about it!

I've only got sunday to talk about really coz that was the day that Roots began for me coz Saturday kinda just happened I didnt really feel the WOW factor of Roots and was begining to worry I had given up a weeknd of getting work done to wander around Southport spending lots of money... No need to fear coz God came near! (I know I'm weird...!)
So yea Sunday morning no flashing lights from God to say wake up Jude your missing the point of this weeknd. But on Sunday as anyone from romford who went to Roots is aware God stuck pins in our bums and made us jump up and listen to Him. I dunno if I'm hearing the same as other people & to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if I was on my own with this thought but personally I'm sick and tired of the violence in Romford. My friends go out clubbing we go to the pubs & I'm really scared that I'll have a fone call one day telling me it's my friend in the hospital bed. for those of you who dont have children old enough to go clubbing and stuff it mite not mean anything to you that this stuff is happening but I know my friends don't go looking for trouble they go out for a night of dancing to good music. well anyway as I was sitting in the big top I saw how Romford is surronded by churches and if we had 3 people from each church willing to pray for the safety and protection of the clubbers and pub goers of Romford we would have an amazing army of prayer warriors. I know I can't be the opnly one worried about the pure evil going on but I also know I am only one person & me worrying about my mates aint gonna stop the fighting I need God to work amazingly in our town before it gets so bad we dont want our children to grow up.
Sorry I dunno if I've made any sense today but I had to spill it out somehow so this is it....!

Why do I always come back with more questions than I went with to any 'religious' thingy?!

Martyrs

2007-04-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

The meeting today in sunny Sutton was about acts 6 & 7 about a guy called Simon (know who i mean?) well he was stoned to death coz he told everyone they were stiff necked idiots in so many words....
anyway in the message we were being told that if you put yourself out for someone else & dont worry about how you'll be viewed or treated then you're a martyr. It got me thinkin about all those 'religious' forwarded emails that fly into our inboxes all the time. How many of us only send them onto other Christians because we dont want to offend our friends. I do it 2 which is silly really coz my friends all know I'm a Christian and yet we have these amazing miracle stories which surely we should share with ppl to prove we're not worshipping "sum dead guy that wrote a book" - as my friends though Jesus was....!

Just a thought.....

Back at uni but not feeling like a student! :(

2007-04-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

I know I want to be a primary school teacher but I wish I could do that without being at uni sometimes! I've been living bk in my uni house for 3 days now but coz my lectures have finished I'm just at school for four weeks. I feel like im at work and should be all grown up but then I come back here & my housemates have done nothing all day! (dont ask me what I've done today I'll give u a hint - we have one child who's being potty trained..... and another one who has a hate for any 'mess' on his pants...... yes rubber gloves were involved throughout the whole day.....!)
anyone wondering why I don't want to work in a nursery.....!
Anyway! Can't remember what I was gonna say now but there we go it comes to you after 2 days of playing with children my mind has gone to mush but my teacher aint in tomorrow so I've got to be on the ball (gotta cook animal biccies with 4 children as well....!)

What's with all the ....!'s on this blog?! I don't even know what I'm doing so I'll shush!
Hope u'll all ok I'll be back in romford town soon & not have to think about nursery anymore.

(I'll just mention i'm not hating my placement it's just very different to what I'm use to so I'm just a bit out of my depth but it's a lovely nursery with very lovely people!)

miss you all!

Fear/ Worry stone

2007-04-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

The illustration of rolling away our own stone was like a slap in the face this morning!
I know I'm now 20 and supposed to be mature and grown up but that still doesn't stop my fears. A lot of you prob know I'm arachnophobic but since starting my second year I've found a new bigger fear. - being alone in my house surronded by silence. Granted I don't live in a very nice area (although only 1 stabbing to my knowledge since Christmas) so a little bit of scaredness is allowed to keep me in check with reality but still I need to grow up.
I need to roll away te stone of worry and fear of my ickle house being broken into whilst im there on my own. but how?
it's all well & good saying yea I trust God to keep me safe but I'm only human and when there's a noise outside the house my mind always thinks the worst why can't God stop my thoughts? did Jesus feel dread? did his mind play tricks on him to scare him? or is that a human trait he never got the pleasure to experience?? hummmm....
don't know why im waffling about this really guess it's coz im going back to uni 2moz & Paul has had to give up his holiday to spend in my house whilst im at work just so I'm not home alone grrrr I need to be as strong & brave as an ox!
Here's to a new week...

Uni students have the ideal life???! let's see.....

2007-04-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

Another boring day in the world of student on easter break today!
You know when your little and you really look forward to the holidays particularly the summer one? well i now know why we enjoyed it coz it was long enough to enjoy time away from school but not too long to make you forget how to learn. I've got loads of work to keep me occupied for these three weeks, how much have i done? 1 piece which was two weeks over due anyway. If I was at uni I'd be so bored I'd get on with it but here with the distraction of free food, TV and other electric drinking stuff I just dont do the work I need to do! I asked Dave for a lava lamp for my bday but I've spent 3 hrs yesterday watching it look pretty whilst reading Harry Potter. It's really not necessary or appropriate. I need someone to tie me down with a computer, my books and cool post-it-notes with a heavy threat of 'if you dont do your work I'm going to cause you great pain' (and not be scared to carry it through!) Any takers?!
Oh and of course thanks to little Miss Sarah I now can waste equal time on here & on Facebook woohoo ta lol!
Help me!! I need to stop being so easily distracted (or as you said Sarah maybe Im just too easily influenced too...!)

2007-04-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!
This is my first proper blog and I only came here to bore you with my waffle because Sarah keeps telling me off for not reading and commenting on her blog so I've had to start blogging myhself to remind me to read her's & write waffle long comments on her thoughts! (make sense?? yes of course it does!)
Well it's Good Friday today so 'no messing about and no smiling but do enjoy your solemn walk around Romford!'
nah was an interesting day particularly when we were all told off for standing up to sing etc.,! on a serious not it was a interesting day & a good chance for all the different churches to show a bit of unity (& highlight our differences to each other...!) but at least we know it's possible to work together we should do more fellowship type stuff to get to know each other it's like being at school and kjnowing you can't possibly be the only Christian in the school of 500 + and yet you dont know unless you see someone at easter time or if they were a WWJD braclet etc! strange world we live in. God didn't want us to spread the Word to make the Salvation Army bigger He wants us to spread the Word to get more people saved surely working together we can us each others skills & stuff not just rely on 'what the army does does for it's own ppl' type thinking!
sorry i'll stop waffling I didnt mean to go onto that thought at all oh well!!!